„The mind, the speech and the body… as in our thoughts, words, and deeds are like three doors because through them we can get both to the wonderful and to the ugly places. It’s up to us.” – Khamtrul rimpocse
Confession about my own journey in discovering congruency
Early in my journey, when I was so ready and eager to transform my way of thinking and my perspective in life, to go with the flow (looking back I am not even sure I completely understood what that really meant), I decided to go all in for a change. I bought the 10 commandments of the subconscious mind cd (By Balogh Bela, similar to Louis Hay affirmations) and of I went home, ready for the big BOOM.
I have heard from my parents already of the importance of positive thought, affirmation, of knowing what I want and think as if my dream was already accomplished. Of course, back then as a teenager, it was in through one ear, out on the other (thank God, the seed was planted, even without me knowing it, because they reallyyy repeated this over and over to me). In time it turned out they were right, and I am grateful for them being so persistent. In time I understood that a good mindset is the first steps toward achieving what I wanted. I needed to plant the seed. There I was, ready to plant…
I started listening to this positive affirmation CD before going to sleep, as it is said that it is one of the most effective ways for information to be downloaded in the subconscious mind. Till this day I remember that tense feeling inside, that voice that was literary screaming “why is it that you want to convince me of something it is not true” (well, not now anyway)!!!
Did this ever happen to you?
Even though I had these unsettled feelings and thoughts I was really determined to thrive, if I had to with “force”, I was going to make this work. And I went on listening and listening. I knew everything I was hearing were things I wanted to achieve in my day to day life… but there was no shift. Like probably some of you, I also thought this was just not for me. Maybe it was working for other people, but not for me. What was wrong with me? What was I doing wrong?
Now I can say, with a smile that I was doing everything right, and there is a big chance you are too… I was honest enough with myself to know what I was aiming for, and also honest enough to notice and listen to my inner voice, the information my subconscious was giving me, just letting me know that there were some (miss)beliefs about how my life was supposed to go, or who I believed to be as a person.
AM I GOOD ENOUGH, TO ACHIEVE WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE?
No matter how much I wanted, my thoughts were not in congruency with the ones I started strengthening in myself while listening to the CD. That is when I found the importance of congruency, and a new journey started. The journey that took me on the path to achieving it, in my every days.
What is congruency? And why is it that it is so important in our daily life?
We experience congruency when what we think, feel, say and do is in harmony with our goal, with what we want to achieve. Even if that is a very small thing.
And it really is important because the one way to reach anything we aim for is for these parts to be in harmony with each other. This is like a laser focus of all our being towards our goal. It’s so important for these parts to work together and not against each other.
When our mind says one thing, our emotions say another, the way we express ourselves is unclear, not specific, (sometimes not even to ourselves) and maybe what we do is something totally opposite… It can be quite for us to be understood… or even for ourselves to know how to take the necessary action.
When these parts of us are not aligned, there is noooo way the Universe can even start working on our behalf. It will only deliver more of what we emanate the strongest.
Now that we know why this is so important, let’s understand better, why it’s not working when it doesn’t:
For one… no matter how much we want it to, or how committed we are, one month of positive thinking, cannot change a lifetime of a less positive way of thinking, seeing things.
The second important part is our deep-rooted beliefs. We spent so much time of our lives believing the perceptions we bought into from our own experiences, from consequences we drew from things we’ve seen happen to people, or to ourselves, and there are also the beliefs we took over from our parents as children.
All these beliefs got stored in the Subconscious mind, and when we try to achieve something that is opposite to our long stored beliefs, well, the old beliefs are the ones that keep winning.
So, in a nutshell, we can say alll we want that: „I am financially well of” for example, repeat it sooo many times a day that we feel like there is nothing else we are really saying. BUT if the moment we say it, our mind says – but look at my bank account, it’s almost empty, I can’t go in the vacation I want. And emotionally, we may be sensing some fear or anxiety rather than a sense of freedom.
It may be, that the good old “I am not good enough to achieve this dream”, “Others can have it, but not me” beliefs are kicking in, and then after saying the „I am financially well of” mantra 20 times in the morning, then we meet friends and we are mostly complaining of the situation we are… Our new mantra will not work.This is when we operate from a place of lack, not of creation.
In these moments, everything we long for is blocked, even before giving the Universe the chance of responding by giving us the opportunity to walk on a path that can get us to what we wish to achieve.
Write it down, in as many details as possible, explore what are the limiting beliefs that need some transformation, and at the same time, we can start a fun game of what if . 🙂
To start with, I invite you to on honest inner inquiry. One that will allow the limiting
beliefs to surface. This is the work part, before the fun part.
Once you found your affirmation or your goal please take your time to sit in silence with yourself and repeat it a few times, let it sink in.
While you do, be mindful of what feelings come up. Maybe a mix of excitement and fear, maybe sadness will come up. Where do you feel them in your body? (Maybe you feel a wave of heat, maybe your stomach crunches, your neck gets stiff) Please write them down, whatever they are.. it is only you who has access to them.
NOTE: By writing down your thoughts, feelings and their intensity, you can measure the change while doing the practice.
What are the thoughts coming up, what does your mind tell you about this affirmation? About yourself? About this positive thing that you want to achieve or to have more of. ( Maybe .. I have to work much harder, I am not good enough yet)
Do the same like with the feelings, just write them down.
Also, please take a close look at the things you do, your behavior in this context in your day to day life. Is your behavior in harmony with your goal?
You can make a column for each one, and write under each and one what comes up for you. This will give you a clear picture of how much these parts (thoughts, feelings, doings) are in congruency with your affirmation/goal or desire.
Note: Do not worry, we all have a long list under each and every one of these categories. It can happen that most of the feelings and toughts are incongruent with each other, and also with your goal.
Know that the work you are doing now, is the first step you take into discovering YOURSELF in this particular matter.
You got till here, till today without doing this, YOU are good enough, YOU are deserving and You did nothing wrong along the way. I believe this is part of the journey and part of the challenges we set for ourselves as souls to grow in this lifetime. Oh, and did I mention, we are all human, not perfect and this, this is what makes us unique, and beautiful in our own ways. These things are the things we can grow from, and these things are the ones that help us get even better.
In the attachment, you will find a sample of how to start tapping on these issues.
And now, we are at the part of the practice which strengthen with a little dreaming, creating and feeling!
Yes, you will still need your pen and paper.. this are important steps, and it helps if you write them down because you can always come back to them and personalize them even more, mold them into what you wish for.
So, here it comes.. write down your goal, your affirmation. Let it sink and allow yourself right for this moment to live it, as it already happened… just for the fun of it, allow yourself to dream your dream.
Attach a strong positive emotion to your affirmation, the same one in your heart and head. How will it look like when it comes to life, how will you feel in your body, what will that feeling be? Feel it fill every cell in your body, feel it in your heart, in your mind. See yourself actively participating in your end goal that you want to reach. Even if it’s not there now, that is when your subconscious mind (SBC) will do everything in its power to support this goal in coming true.
Follow these steps, take your time in discovering every step. Do it in your own time, there is no rush.
1. Be very specific about what you want!
The Subconscious mind is very literal, so we have to paint our picture in a very specific, clear way and write down is EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, down to the very last, minimal detail. Put on the list short term measurable things. So you can notice them when they start coming to life.
2. Charge your list with the emotional energy!
Do You Know why you want what you want? How will it feel getting it?
A little support, just to make sure, you go down right to the last detail –
You can say -reaching this goal, or living fully this affirmation will make me happy BUT –
- What is happiness to you?
- What part of it makes you happy?
- What is the exciting part of having it?
So you want this thing (if we stay with the example I gave – I am financially well of) because it will make you feel more, fulfilled in your work when you have this financial reward, successful, stable, you will have financial freedom, independence, it will make you happy because when you are financially well of, you can provide your children a much better education, you can travel twice a year – these are all important details, not general.)
3. Believe it!
If you have a negative self-talk you will sabotage it. Be aware of any negative thought, emotion coming up. – when you have a pattern and you know how you react to it, use the attached practice.
The more you wish for something, the more you believe in your goal you can be sure that the limiting beliefs are going to surface sooner than later. This is why is best to transform them, sooner rather than later.
It may be that your positive statement doesn’t feel true now, and that’s ok. To start with, it’s enough if you have fun with it, enjoy it, even if it’s for 2 minutes daily. Raise your vibration with it, then move on with your day.
4. Have faith that it’s happening!
Use the energy of gratitude! Appreciate and be grateful for everything you already have. Your health, the fact that you have a rooftop above your head, the fact that you can feel the ray of the sun on your face in the morning. And have faith that what you wish for is happening and that you deserve it.
Let go and let GOD!
5. Take the proper action!
The small or bigger steps towards your goal are up to you. Learn if you have to, talk to someone who can guide you, look for that new job. We really do have to step up and do our part here, work together with the Universe.
You can also tapp each morning while doing the visualization. At night look back at your day and see what you can be grateful for.
Attached you can find a morning tapping exercise sample to get you going.
Have fun and dare to dream, think, feel and do BIG!
Creating New Beliefs – Tapping practice to achieving Congruency
Practice time, on average:
In which cases, how often and to whom I recommend this practice:
If there is state of being or goal you wish to achieve, this practice can support you in aligning your thoughts with your feelings, which at the moment might not be congruent with each other. Tapping reduces stress and helps you find the best and easiest way to achieve your desired goal.